anger

Greiving~
  • denial,
  • anger,
  • bargaining,
  • depression,
  • acceptance.
The stages of grieving....
Well, I think I got mine a little mixed up but here goes.
I know I will have to go through all these stages at some point but what I have felt so far are denial and depression. Anger is now showing up and I don’t like it. I do not like feeling so angry. I look into my anger and I cannot blame anyone or any thing it just is and I don’t know what to do with it. 
What is anger anyway?
{Anger is used as a protective mechanism to cover up fear, hurt or sadness}

Where does it stem from and how can I rid myself of this feeling? 
I feel like a monster.
I will sit with this intense emotion, I will feel it through my every cell. I will let it run its course like a nasty virus and I will be still.
I will allow my body to process.
 I will writhe and scream, I will spit and curs, and it will be ok.
It will all be ok, this is what I asked for and here I am feeling every ounce of the darkness upon me.
This is my night to allow the course of human emotion to run my being and I will be still.
I realize that acting on the anger will only perpetuate it and I do not want this emotion to define me.
 I know who I am and yet the anger is present.

I will be still.

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