sum ergo sum

Lessons form mom.  As the days and moments of my life blend together, I realize that my original thought patterns were inspired by a loving, gracious human I get to call mom.   She came into this planet with a strong desire to understand the nature of god and her role as a woman. Times were very different then and her contrast of aloof parents caused her to search for a greater meaning and understanding of life.   As a very young girl she was drawn to religion, she explored many different churches until she found one that worked well for her.   The parameters of religious views gave her a platform to stand on and a mindset of a loving god and a trust in the process of life.   She raised all of her children in a place of wonder and connection. We learned at an early age that life is so much more than we can see with our eyes.  Her profound connection to the divine was my inspiration to develop my own love and connection. ...

Something has shifted~  The day before the 18 th  I woke with an amazing feeling of clarity. My eyes shot right open as I felt the heavy mental fog lift off my tormented brain. This feeling was so intense that it was all I could talk about for the past two days. I feel wonderful!!! Its been 9 months since my daughter left this world. I have been writing everyday, spilling my heart out to my journals trying to make sense of my world.  Every single day she would bombard my thoughts.  Every single day I would have intense emotion flooding my cells.  Every day tears would flow, so much some times that I couldn’t be in public.  Every day I questioned my course of action and my purpose on this planet.  When am I going to feel better?  How long does it take to grieve the loss of a loved one? When will I actually let go of the sadness? When can I just be happy to be alive? This whole process has been one of learning to le...