sum ergo sum

“You don’t have to do it alone”. One of my favorite Books The Shack. I recently have been going through a really dark and frightening transition in my life, one that I didn’t want to even consider looking at,but needless to say life is about change and we cannot deny it. The Change I’m referring to has been coming for a while now and like it or not My Husband of 22 years and I will be going through a Divorce. At first all of this was heart breaking and scary and I felt so alone but something came over me. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE” I talked to God, I asked for guidance, here’s what I got. First I had a comforting sensation and a reassuring feeling that everything will be ok. I was guided to look into my own darkest part of my heart shedding light on what it is I’m still holding onto. What it is that is causing my pain. What I saw was a refusal to love. I saw a great fear of my own wellbeing and future. I saw how my fear kept me in a small, trapped angry place an...

Yesterday my husband and I had an argument, we usually get a little mouthy after a couple margaritas. He was frustrated with me for not knowing what is going on in the world. My lack of interest in politics and current affairs as well as the brutal ways people are hurting each other, makes him crazy. I agreed with him and admitted to doing this on purpose. Focusing on the hurtful things people are doing out there in the world doesn’t feel good to me. I intentionally do not watch news or read articles of this type, I scroll through the heated opinions quickly on social media not engaging on purpose. I hone in on the many occurrences of love and kindness that are occurring all the time. This is how I stay uplifted my self, then do what I can to share it with others. Here’s what I understand. ·         We cannot feel bad enough about anything to make it change. ·       Focusing in on negativity will bring more of it. ·  ...

Stop struggling~ my marriage Thinking about my struggles to be a better person and realizing the more I struggle the more I have to struggle. I’ve been watching my words. Watching the stories I tell about my life. One of those stories has been that my marriage has been a struggle. I have issues with being understood and accepted, I complain about how hard it is to get along and have fun together. I talk about how different we are and how our interests are completely opposite.  I joke about marrying for contrast. Paying attention to these little stories I talk about has been incredibly enlightening. I didn’t realize that all this time I’ve been creating a marriage of struggle. I only just now realized that it doesn’t have to be a struggle. My marriage can be anything I choose. If I change the way I look at it and look for all the positive aspects that are already present, then I will be creating a more fulfilling beautiful relationship with the man I already love. I...