sum ergo sum

Something has shifted~  The day before the 18 th  I woke with an amazing feeling of clarity. My eyes shot right open as I felt the heavy mental fog lift off my tormented brain. This feeling was so intense that it was all I could talk about for the past two days. I feel wonderful!!! Its been 9 months since my daughter left this world. I have been writing everyday, spilling my heart out to my journals trying to make sense of my world.  Every single day she would bombard my thoughts.  Every single day I would have intense emotion flooding my cells.  Every day tears would flow, so much some times that I couldn’t be in public.  Every day I questioned my course of action and my purpose on this planet.  When am I going to feel better?  How long does it take to grieve the loss of a loved one? When will I actually let go of the sadness? When can I just be happy to be alive? This whole process has been one of learning to le...

I have loved you before and I will l love you after. There is no real separation only a forgetting. A forgetting that I am you and you are me, we are all the same. My time in this forgetful place is but a moment. An experience of what I am not and then a remembering of what I am. A prison of flesh and emotion will cloud my essence but I know I will remember and I will help others remember and we will all be back together and whole. All of us. I feel what I have known for a longtime I AM This is so clear, Everything, good, bad, ugly, happy, holy, evil, wealthy, sick, all of humanity, all of nature, and universe, I am, All of it. I feel it coursing through my veins, my body knows, she knows. I want to run around screaming, I get it, I get it. Wake up everyone, we are all the same! Wake up this is just a game. This is not real. My heart is so full; this flesh is holding me back. I love this skin, I love this experience, I am left with a deep desire ...

Break down breakthrough~ Recently, I’ve been looking into some of the conditioned habitual thinking that has been running my mind.   Dr. Wayne Dyer calls these thoughts mind viruses . They come from our early childhood and are usually passed from person to person without ever being noticed. Basically, the mental programs we adopt as kids stay with us until we finally choose to look at them. Our individual world will continue to run a certain way until the day we finally want to take a peek at the man behind the curtain. The day we distinguish what is really running our life is a magical day. For me finally discovering some of the mental viruses that were running my life felt so tremendously empowering, kind of like I was living under a spell and the spell was broken. This happened in a moment I would least expect it. I was fighting with my husband. I couldn’t understand how I could be so upset. It took me three days of not speaking to him, running my programs, feeling ...