sum ergo sum

Memory A young 24 year old pregnant woman crying in a heap on the bathroom floor. Pleading to God to just make it end. I was begging God to take away my life and end the misery. The pain was tremendous and I knew I couldn’t bare it for one more day. At the time my husband and I and two little children lived in house in San Diego with several other people. The house was rented by the owner of the company we worked for. We rented a small bedroom from him.    We were both working for a direct sales and marketing company and had nothing to our name except a few suit cases, an air mattress, (we slept on with our toddler son), and a playpen set up as my baby daughters makeshift crib. Our bags were stacked around the tiny room. My husband and I had to put our two little ones into a day care in order to go out into the sales field daily just to make enough money to buy milk and diapers maybe remain noodles for that day. My son pretty much lived off of peanut butter. Durin...

Life has opened to me and I to her My thoughts deliberate My joy on purpose My creations appear as I allow My dreams clear There is so much love in the world I can feel it with each beat of my heart The pulsing of blood in my veins I am alive

Surrender to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., : to give the control or use of (something) to someone else. Surrender is the intersection between acceptance and change I am in a place where I realize that I need guidance. My ego wants to bail on my life and my heart knows I must stay. I ask my self “what am I doing?” constantly and the only answer I have is be patient, surrender. This word   “surrender” has been showing itself to me over and over so I decided to look into it. What does it actually mean to surrender? Not just surrender to another’s will but to the divine. Surrender to the universe to my higher power. What does this actually feel like? So far what I have found is by simply stating my intention out loud by asking for assistance and allowing for inspiration and insight, I immediately feel my body relax. Allowing for guidance is also allowing my muscles to soften my mind to feel clear and I have a sweet sense that everything will be ok. ...