sum ergo sum

Another sweet message from my daughter. I'm staying at my friend Sue’s house in Palm City Florida. The morning is clear and windy. The house is quiet I am alone. I have been feeling a bit uneasy. I am happy to be in Florida, I am excited to continue working on my flight instructor certificate but for the moment I have had a hiccup with finances and do not have the money to pay for any training.  In the meantime was thinking about getting involved with a grief group or possibly teaching a yoga workshop to help alleviate the pain of loss. Maybe even work part time with hospice. I'm sure I can create someway to fill my time and give back to the community.  I have been going through my journals wanting to find entries to add to my next book  “Year two,”( I actually filled 8 journals since Juliana died.) I found an entry about feeling confused and frustrated and not knowing where I was going. This seems to be a theme these days. I realize it was written last year ...

Death is not painful, living is painful and magnificent and wonderful and delightful. I stepped into the other world today. Not on purpose and it was very brief but needless to say there is something so tremendous out there waiting for all of us.  My initial sensation was ease, then wonderment then joy. I came back laughing. Let me explain. I play on my aerial silks daily working on my strength and mastering gravity, flipping and twirling for the pure fun of it. Today was different today something happened after hanging upside down then flipping to a hang by my armpits. I must of cut off my circulation and passed out. This all happened so quickly that my friend who was also working out didn’t even notice.  I know it was only brief, but in my mind it felt like a week. I felt my self separate from my body. I was walking down a long corridor dark and totally silent, it took a moment to understand what was happening and ...