sum ergo sum

New Orleans In May I happened to see a post from the New Orleans Burlesque Fest inviting performers to submit audition videos to participate in the upcoming event in September. I of course sent in the video of the aerial cube act from our Pagosa Burlesque show that happened in March. Not really expecting anything I was surprised when I received the official invitation. My partner informed me she would be out of the country and I would need to replace her. Malaya, my lovely daughter was my first choice, she is already a strong aerial performer and she and I have similar body builds. Not to mention performing with my daughter is a dream come true.    The cube is unforgiving, painful and frustrating to master. Many days we would show up, bang and bruise, smack each other, whack our heads and get completely dizzy. The steel bars are brutal and our bodies showed the battle wounds. She and I worked for three months on the routine and sure enough after our many days of ...

Soul reboot~ Question?  When we die does it feel like waking up from a dream? Do we remember the details the love the people the story, or does it all disappear when our eyes open. Do we even have eyes to open? After the death of my daughter I have been doing everything I can to stay connected to her essence. I look for signs everywhere. I search my dreams, I search faces, pictures, animals, butterflies, the wind. Everything is now somehow connected to her. Its actually pretty wild how my mind can turn a song or conversation into something about my daughter and truthfully, it’s comforting. My youngest daughter and I decided to take a little time away and go on a trip together. We are working on completing Juliana’s extensive bucket list. Surfing and cliff diving are two things we get to check off after our fantastic stay In Puerto Rico. During our stay there were so many beautiful moments of clarity and understanding. Seeing the course of events unfolding and...

Obsession Recently a girlfriend of mine let me in on her little secret, she has been struggling with her weight. Every day she wakes up thinking about what she can and can’t eat, she fights with too much, too little, the right combination. She feels anguish, confusion, frustration and exhaustion about her dilemma every single day.   We talked a little about her frustration; she claimed to have tried everything. I suggested that maybe she just stops trying so hard, stop struggling, stop fighting her body and stop the thoughts.   Of course her reply was, “oh that's easy for you to say, if I had a body like yours I could do that.”   I’m going to let you in on my little secret, the reason I could relate to my girlfriends issues is because I used to be obsessed with my body and image as well. I used to hate my body. I used to think I was too tall, too fat, too lumpy, my hips were to big, my skin is the wrong color, my boobs were too small, ...