sum ergo sum

Soul reboot~ Question?  When we die does it feel like waking up from a dream? Do we remember the details the love the people the story, or does it all disappear when our eyes open. Do we even have eyes to open? After the death of my daughter I have been doing everything I can to stay connected to her essence. I look for signs everywhere. I search my dreams, I search faces, pictures, animals, butterflies, the wind. Everything is now somehow connected to her. Its actually pretty wild how my mind can turn a song or conversation into something about my daughter and truthfully, it’s comforting. My youngest daughter and I decided to take a little time away and go on a trip together. We are working on completing Juliana’s extensive bucket list. Surfing and cliff diving are two things we get to check off after our fantastic stay In Puerto Rico. During our stay there were so many beautiful moments of clarity and understanding. Seeing the course of events unfolding and...

FEAR False Evidence Appearing Real For as many years as I can remember I have had a re-occuring nightmare of ocean waves rising so high they take over the building I am in and kill everyone.   The building changes in my dream but the ocean is always so fierce and powerful that it takes the lives of everyone in my dream. In my waking world I have not had a negative experience with the ocean and am sure this is because I keep a distance. Something changed. My last experience with the ocean and my fear just recently happened in Maui Hawaii on a family vacation. I love standup paddle boarding, I’ve been playing on my board in our lakes during the summer. I feel very confident in my abilities and have been practicing yoga and balancing. I truly enjoy paddling around on the water. In Hawaii a surfer friend of ours, brought us a variety of boards to play on, one was a stand up paddle board. The beach we were at had two breaks and there were several surfers already o...