sum ergo sum

Beliefs I have had lots of time to ponder the deeper meanings of life in the past few weeks. My entire world has shut down for a little bit and I am left to think about many things. Something that keeps coming up for me is “What do I believe?” Dissecting my beliefs one by one asking if they actually make any sense or if I just believe them because I always have. I realized that beliefs are a unique force in nature that causes things to happen.   They literally are the beginning point of all creation.  W hat’s fascinating about them is they can change according to what we want to experience, but only if we believe so. For instance, if I had a belief that “I’m fat” running through my mind and I never gave it a question. If I just accepted it then my body, my world, the mirror, would begin to prove my belief to me. In every instance, I would begin to feel uncomfortable in my body. I would loose motivation to eat right and exercise. I would spend my days on the co...

In San Diego, with my 18 year old daughter, she wanted to go to Sea World for her birthday. I am not a big fan of theme parks but wanted her to enjoy herself. Earlier in the day we had been talking about what she wanted to do now that she had graduated High School. She was in an overwhelmed and uncertain mood not really having a clue of how to proceed in her life. We talked about intentions and dreaming and allowing her mind to be open to possibilities and how these are attractive forces that will draw the right experiences to her. We also talked about being negative and grumpy and how this too will draw similar experiences to her. During the day in the theme park I was focusing on enjoying our stay for her sake but as the day continued I felt my self getting tired and grumpy loosing my attitude. She wanted to ride a water ride and told me to wait for her since I was completely opposed to getting wet. I of course wouldn’t have it, I couldn’t possibly let her ride alone, wh...

Missing A few days ago my son went missing. He was lost in the mountain forest. He had been hunting since 6am that morning. This hunt was originally just going to be the morning but as it was coming close to the seasons end he decided to stay and hunt on his own. His ride was just going to come back and pick him up in the evening, 6pm is when it gets dark. They had arranged to bring supplies to that same location so Hunter could at least have food and water. He never found his supplies. He was hiking around all day scouting the elk by himself. Normally this isn’t a problem Hunter has spent many hours in the woods and is very competent at finding his way, but not today. I believe the combination of hiking all day with out water or food and no other survival supplies, took hunter for a surprise delirium. He was dehydrated and delirious and got completely turned around. He missed his pick up, at that time and he was able to communicate with the driver via text....

For the past few weeks I’ve been trying an experiment. With each person that comes into my day, (stranger or friend) I have been allowing my heart/mind to imagine what it is like to be that person.   As I have a conversation with someone else I listen closely and really try to get where they are coming from. I try to understand what it is like on their side of the conversation. I try to understand how they might be feeling and what is truly driving them at that moment. This has been magical.   I have noticed a deeper connection with those around me. I have noticed that the harsh judging mechanism that likes to run me has quieted down. I have noticed a welling up of pure love and compassion for the people in my life. I have noticed complete appreciation for the person and the circumstance that has allowed for our connection. I have noticed a surge of energy in my daily dealings with people. I have most importantly noticed a softening around my marriag...