sum ergo sum

I woke early this morning after a full night of tossing and turning. Feeling sleepy I set up my Cuban coffee maker on the stove. While I waited I had a feeling to move my body so I listened.  My yoga mat was already laid out on the floor and I stepped on it. My body instinctively knew what to do. I reached my hands to the sky took in a deep breath then lowered my arms exhaling. This felt so good I continued moving this way over and over until the movements became rhythmic and my breathing synchronized. I moved from a place of intuition, pure allowing, and I was amazed at the strange shapes my body created, bending and twisting extending and contracting.  Every movement coincided with the breath. I noticed a part of my brain that wanted to judge the movement saying this is not proper yoga. Then a grater part of my self calmed the little voice and assured it that this is in fact the truest yoga around.   The literal  meaning  of the Sanskrit word...

Beliefs I have had lots of time to ponder the deeper meanings of life in the past few weeks. My entire world has shut down for a little bit and I am left to think about many things. Something that keeps coming up for me is “What do I believe?” Dissecting my beliefs one by one asking if they actually make any sense or if I just believe them because I always have. I realized that beliefs are a unique force in nature that causes things to happen.   They literally are the beginning point of all creation.  W hat’s fascinating about them is they can change according to what we want to experience, but only if we believe so. For instance, if I had a belief that “I’m fat” running through my mind and I never gave it a question. If I just accepted it then my body, my world, the mirror, would begin to prove my belief to me. In every instance, I would begin to feel uncomfortable in my body. I would loose motivation to eat right and exercise. I would spend my days on the co...

Memory A young 24 year old pregnant woman crying in a heap on the bathroom floor. Pleading to God to just make it end. I was begging God to take away my life and end the misery. The pain was tremendous and I knew I couldn’t bare it for one more day. At the time my husband and I and two little children lived in house in San Diego with several other people. The house was rented by the owner of the company we worked for. We rented a small bedroom from him.    We were both working for a direct sales and marketing company and had nothing to our name except a few suit cases, an air mattress, (we slept on with our toddler son), and a playpen set up as my baby daughters makeshift crib. Our bags were stacked around the tiny room. My husband and I had to put our two little ones into a day care in order to go out into the sales field daily just to make enough money to buy milk and diapers maybe remain noodles for that day. My son pretty much lived off of peanut butter. Durin...

FEAR False Evidence Appearing Real For as many years as I can remember I have had a re-occuring nightmare of ocean waves rising so high they take over the building I am in and kill everyone.   The building changes in my dream but the ocean is always so fierce and powerful that it takes the lives of everyone in my dream. In my waking world I have not had a negative experience with the ocean and am sure this is because I keep a distance. Something changed. My last experience with the ocean and my fear just recently happened in Maui Hawaii on a family vacation. I love standup paddle boarding, I’ve been playing on my board in our lakes during the summer. I feel very confident in my abilities and have been practicing yoga and balancing. I truly enjoy paddling around on the water. In Hawaii a surfer friend of ours, brought us a variety of boards to play on, one was a stand up paddle board. The beach we were at had two breaks and there were several surfers already o...

Whats in the middle of the onion when you peel it? Nothing! Whats in the middle of each of us when you get deep enough? Nothing! This Nothing is the empty void we all emerge from, it is what we all go back to and it is inevitable. However we are in the time of the onion peeling so peel away. Each layer of this delicate skin represents a question or issue we enjoy playing with, my layer was about worth and value and the measure of success. I asked around for others to answer taking a pole of opinion, this is what I got. What makes a person valuable? The answers are all over the board. Mostly what people agreed on was that value can only come from the person. Each individual must determine his or her own value. The way to knowing this is through self worth the way to self worth is through loving the self. The way to love the self is through acceptance and looking inward for appreciation and acknowledgement. What is the measure of success? There were many answers ...

The best thing you can do for the world is live an extraordinary life. Live a life full of love and inspiration and joy. What filter are you looking through? When you wake up in the morning are you excited for a new wonderful day of opportunity or are you dreading getting out of bed. Do you see the amazing potential in each new morning, is there gratitude for another day of living or is it a painful experience flooded with regret and dread for all that you worry about. Paying attention to the subtle feelings coursing through your system will be an indicator of what it is you are allowing in your thoughts. Thoughts that are kind, peaceful, loving, generous will create a world of sweet peace, an experience of love and generosity. What you focus on directly creates your experience. Bringing yourself back to the knowing that you are so much more than your body or your circumstance. This life is temporary and you are going to die. Eventually all of the things that consume you wi...