sum ergo sum

Home What is it anyway~ I woke with a deep longing to be home, this happens now and again but this time it was almost crippling. I wrapped my arms around my middle, curled into a fetal position and wept. It felt like an eternity of tears and uncontrollable sobs. I then asked my self what am I missing? What is actually going on? Why am I having such intense emotion around the concept of “HOME”?   Here’s what I got; as a young person we were moved around from house to house, and state to state, even spending many of our moves in Mexico. My parents were nomads, Gypsies. They would move us with out a moments notice and take us to some unknown place. As a child I had no idea why we would move so much but it usually meant I got to leave school and drive across country and start again somewhere else. Eventually this became tiresome as I would not want to be stuck in a van with six or seven other kids, and I did not want to leave my friends behind. I did want an education. The...

If God had come to me 23 years ago and said; Hey Sariah I have an amazing adventure for you if your ready. You will fall madly in love with a stranger, you will marry and make 4 beautiful babies, you will struggle like you have never struggled before, money will be tight but love will get you through. You will have many, many heart breaks, you will suffer from depression, betrayal, lonlieness, self esteem, you will be shamed and ridiculed, your heart will be broken.  On the lighter side you will travel the world, You will have many friends and loved ones, you will have plenty of money and all the comforts you could ever desire, you will laugh, you will have more fun than you can imagine, you will cry and love and hate and feel like the world is amazing and terrible. You will grow and age and your children will love you and leave your care, you will find peace in nature and with animals. You will eventually love yourself and you will realize all of this is tailored to you a...

I chose my own limiting beliefs; I chose the path that I’m walking on, I chose my hardships and roadblocks, I chose the things that would challenge my self the absolute most because I knew I could overcome them, I knew that all of this is a temporary magnificent experience and I would figure it out in the short time I had here. I chose things that would keep me obsessed and trapped, limited, hopeless. I put up my shields and challenged myself to a duel. What happens when I see through this façade? What happens when I put the shields down and realize my own power? What happens when I feel the reality of who/what I really am? Letting go of the sabotage. Letting go of the need to feel hurt. Letting go of the need to be right. Letting go of fury, rage, anger, and hatred.   Letting go of judgment and criticism of my self and others. Letting go of my resistance to love. What’s left? Essence breath lightheartedness joy laughter peace ...