sum ergo sum

Welcome to the world of infinite possibilities.  It’s an amazing ride that will scare the shit out of you but is so incredibly inspiring and worth every scream.   What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Every failure is just a course correction. We are always being fine tuned and guided to live our most glorious versions of our selves in every moment. The key is to trust that The Universe has got your back. The things you want Source wants for you, If you are willing to move even an inch in that direction Source will move mountains to accommodate you.  I am only now figuring this out. Little by little this game has been revealing itself to me. I understand that every thing I think, feel, and do has an impact on the life that is showing up for me. My daughter’s death has taught me that tomorrow is not a guarantee. Now is the only time I have. Now, this moment, not ‘some day’ or ‘maybe another time’. There is only now and in this now everything is possible. The ke...

The great forgetting.  I woke with words floating in my brain. Do you know who you are? Do you know how magnificent you truly are?  Do you know the power you possess? These are questions for every human on this planet. We are all gorgeous, amazing, wondrous, beings who came here to experience our light in a world of chaos, darkness, and illusion.  We wanted to know if we could do it.  We wanted to try our luck in all different types of scenarios just to see how we would do.  Each time we succeed and get close to knowing who we really are our game ends.  Then we go through the amnesia once again and start over.  Over and over until one day we decide not to, then we find other ways to entertain ourselves.  Maybe watch in on our friends who are having a life and whisper in their ear when they are in the middle of a turbulent episode.  We whisper ~ Do you know who you really are?  Do you kno...

New Orleans In May I happened to see a post from the New Orleans Burlesque Fest inviting performers to submit audition videos to participate in the upcoming event in September. I of course sent in the video of the aerial cube act from our Pagosa Burlesque show that happened in March. Not really expecting anything I was surprised when I received the official invitation. My partner informed me she would be out of the country and I would need to replace her. Malaya, my lovely daughter was my first choice, she is already a strong aerial performer and she and I have similar body builds. Not to mention performing with my daughter is a dream come true.    The cube is unforgiving, painful and frustrating to master. Many days we would show up, bang and bruise, smack each other, whack our heads and get completely dizzy. The steel bars are brutal and our bodies showed the battle wounds. She and I worked for three months on the routine and sure enough after our many days of ...

 Today I was at the family home watching dogs while Darren is out of town. I went into Juliana's room as I usually do when I visit the house. I started speaking to her out loud, I was the only one in the house and wasn't worried about being heard. I suddenly had a need to look in one of her dresser drawers. I found a notebook of Juliana's from high school. When I opened the notebook I turned to a page where she had written a story about her death. I wrote her words below. She must have known something about how she would leave this world.   Juliana's words~ The day my heart stopped Life was normal calm and busy vibrant and dull loud and quiet all in the same. There wasn’t even a indication that the following moment would be my last. Bzzz, (immanent crash) then there was nothing. For a moment the dark consumed my entire being and in a blink I was back outside of my car racing to them screaming “ARE YOU OK? I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE PLEASE JUST LOOK AT ME” they ...

Check in  I’m currently sitting in a little white, well lit, room on a comfy bed. My bags and books all around me. I will be diving into my studies in a bit but I just wanted to get a few words out as there coming to me now.  I have been in So Florida for almost 7 weeks and have been staying with a sweet family that has opened their home to me. I came here to get a change of perspective. I came here with the intention of working on my flying so that eventually I can work as a professional helicopter pilot. I’m still very inexperienced and still have so much work to do. I love flying. I love learning and at this point in my life I’m so grateful I have it as a distraction.  Before I chose to come here I was basically isolating my self from the world, submerged in the depths of my own grief and heartache. I would spend my days sitting on the couch staring at the walls completely lost. Not knowing how to navigate my own heart and the feelings of loosing my child....

Inspiration~   Taking a break, hitting a serious reset button on my life. Taking time to evaluate and simplify and prioritize the people, the experiences, the importance of all of the things I focus on and give time and energy too. Sitting quietly on an island staring at the sea, waves, birds, sunshine, and sand. I breathe and feel my heart. I breathe and know everything will be ok. I breathe and tears roll down my cheeks and I feel gratitude to have a body that can feel the streaks of wet. I am so happy to be here now in the middle of the chaos of loss and grief and beauty, magic and inspiration. My entire world has been shaken, like a snow globe. The cool part is, I didn’t know that there were sparkles on the ground. I never even imagined that if it were shook hard enough that the most beautiful shimmering glitter diamonds would appear everywhere and my life would be surrounded by magic. My flat world has become alive, multidimensional, fluid. Every corner, eve...

If God had come to me 23 years ago and said; Hey Sariah I have an amazing adventure for you if your ready. You will fall madly in love with a stranger, you will marry and make 4 beautiful babies, you will struggle like you have never struggled before, money will be tight but love will get you through. You will have many, many heart breaks, you will suffer from depression, betrayal, lonlieness, self esteem, you will be shamed and ridiculed, your heart will be broken.  On the lighter side you will travel the world, You will have many friends and loved ones, you will have plenty of money and all the comforts you could ever desire, you will laugh, you will have more fun than you can imagine, you will cry and love and hate and feel like the world is amazing and terrible. You will grow and age and your children will love you and leave your care, you will find peace in nature and with animals. You will eventually love yourself and you will realize all of this is tailored to you a...

A balloon ride, three friends, 3000 feet above the earth, topless. This all started as a pet project. One day my girlfriends and I decided we would be travel bloggers. Our intention was to travel the world, see exotic places, experience wonderful adventures and enjoy amazing events, then share the stories with all of you through blogging. Our first task was to create a Day full of fun and excitement right in our own back yard. The beautiful town of Pagosa Springs Colorado is nestled in the San Juan Mountains, and already a very popular tourist destination. The day was to be a portrayal of our love of travel, friendship and fun. Hoping to inspire others along the way. The topless bit was discussed as a way to celebrate our glorious wild women sisterhood and challenge others to embrace their bodies and be a little risqué simply for the sake of it.      (side note)…..I have never flashed anyone and in fact grew up in a rigorous religious household that...