sum ergo sum

Thinking about my daughter and her brief 19 years on this planet has given me a new feeling about my own life. I am so fortunate to have had so many beautiful years with her. Her passing has made me embrace my living children with tremendous love and affection. I have a new respect for all the living beings on this planet and a complete appreciation for how we each affect each other’s lives. Every life is important and special and I know we are here to live fully with no regrets. In the last few weeks of her life I had the privilege of spending lots of time with her. Together we found an apartment in Denver. We moved her belongings into our new place, laughed about being schoolgirls and roommates together. We dreamt about or future and all the new possibilities. We talked about how excited she was to graduate from massage school and begin her career. We drank wine from mugs and shared a meatball sub on the couch. Life was so thrilling and bright for her. I know as she was dr...

I chose my own limiting beliefs; I chose the path that I’m walking on, I chose my hardships and roadblocks, I chose the things that would challenge my self the absolute most because I knew I could overcome them, I knew that all of this is a temporary magnificent experience and I would figure it out in the short time I had here. I chose things that would keep me obsessed and trapped, limited, hopeless. I put up my shields and challenged myself to a duel. What happens when I see through this façade? What happens when I put the shields down and realize my own power? What happens when I feel the reality of who/what I really am? Letting go of the sabotage. Letting go of the need to feel hurt. Letting go of the need to be right. Letting go of fury, rage, anger, and hatred.   Letting go of judgment and criticism of my self and others. Letting go of my resistance to love. What’s left? Essence breath lightheartedness joy laughter peace ...