sum ergo sum

Standing on the edge of the abyss naked wearing nothing but my diamond earrings, the world is a wondrous place. I wave my arms and greet the sky anything is possible. The wind blows around my skin and my heart beats faster. This is it, my life is mine, and I jump. Sailing into the unknown with out a parachute only a smile. My body plunges into the vast spaciousness and I am free. Solo, but not alone, I am greeted by the rush of gravity taking hold. The forces of nature guide me as I make my way to the unimaginable. My eyes fill with liquid and my form begins to shift. Into what? I do not know. I feel only the rush moving towards a destiny, a death of the illusion. Layers upon layers peel away reveling my limited thinking, revealing my soul. I am bone I am flesh. I am nothing and empty and full. The void has me, caresses my heart and comforts my mind.  This journey has only one finale and I am screaming towards it.

Swapping skin suits Dream   I had the ability to switch out skin suits. My body could be put on and taken off like a piece of clothing. When I would step into my skin I would immediately feel all the attachments and preferences connected to the physical being. The love and relationships that were important and the unique combination of   chemicals hormones and emotions that were habitually flooding my body. I would try on other peoples skin and sink right into the thoughts and fears and loves and moments of that person. All the attachments of my old skin were gone as I was submerged into a new set of sensory preferences. I could feel the connection of loved ones and stories. I could completely understand the feelings associated with the stories that were present. Each skin suit was wonderfully unique; it came along with such a beautiful combination of likes and dislikes and habits and talents. What I did notice was as I was able to bring my consciousness into these suit...

“You don’t have to do it alone”. One of my favorite Books The Shack. I recently have been going through a really dark and frightening transition in my life, one that I didn’t want to even consider looking at,but needless to say life is about change and we cannot deny it. The Change I’m referring to has been coming for a while now and like it or not My Husband of 22 years and I will be going through a Divorce. At first all of this was heart breaking and scary and I felt so alone but something came over me. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE” I talked to God, I asked for guidance, here’s what I got. First I had a comforting sensation and a reassuring feeling that everything will be ok. I was guided to look into my own darkest part of my heart shedding light on what it is I’m still holding onto. What it is that is causing my pain. What I saw was a refusal to love. I saw a great fear of my own wellbeing and future. I saw how my fear kept me in a small, trapped angry place an...

If God had come to me 23 years ago and said; Hey Sariah I have an amazing adventure for you if your ready. You will fall madly in love with a stranger, you will marry and make 4 beautiful babies, you will struggle like you have never struggled before, money will be tight but love will get you through. You will have many, many heart breaks, you will suffer from depression, betrayal, lonlieness, self esteem, you will be shamed and ridiculed, your heart will be broken.  On the lighter side you will travel the world, You will have many friends and loved ones, you will have plenty of money and all the comforts you could ever desire, you will laugh, you will have more fun than you can imagine, you will cry and love and hate and feel like the world is amazing and terrible. You will grow and age and your children will love you and leave your care, you will find peace in nature and with animals. You will eventually love yourself and you will realize all of this is tailored to you a...

Obsession Recently a girlfriend of mine let me in on her little secret, she has been struggling with her weight. Every day she wakes up thinking about what she can and can’t eat, she fights with too much, too little, the right combination. She feels anguish, confusion, frustration and exhaustion about her dilemma every single day.   We talked a little about her frustration; she claimed to have tried everything. I suggested that maybe she just stops trying so hard, stop struggling, stop fighting her body and stop the thoughts.   Of course her reply was, “oh that's easy for you to say, if I had a body like yours I could do that.”   I’m going to let you in on my little secret, the reason I could relate to my girlfriends issues is because I used to be obsessed with my body and image as well. I used to hate my body. I used to think I was too tall, too fat, too lumpy, my hips were to big, my skin is the wrong color, my boobs were too small, ...