All thats left is Love

Thank you all so much for the tremendous outpouring of love and support and compassion and kindness. It has been a nonstop flood of love flowing towards our family. All the food, flowers, gifts and sweet words of comfort have meant so much to our family in this terrible time. We all thank you deeply.

A few words from a mother’s perspective.

When I was in labor with Juliana the midwife told me, that natural labor is the most amount of pain a body can handle before it dies. Going through her birth brought a sense of confidence in the knowing that I survived.
However, I believe she was wrong. Feeling the loss and grief over my daughter’s death is more. Its not only a physical crippling sensation it’s a literal suffocating fog of the deepest sadness I have ever experienced. The worst nightmare materializing and not a thing I can do but feel every ounce of excruciating anguish.
What I understand from this experience is pain is Natures Tenderizer. Its an opportunity to intimately know the depths of our capabilities, its also an opportunity to crack open, wide open and see the other side of love. Once the fire of despair begins to soften the sweetness of pure love can emerge. ,

I am feeling that sweet love in so many forms now; I am feeling it in the closeness of our family, in the tender compassion from all our friends and community. I am feeling it in the memories and stories shared. I am feeling it in the beautiful reminders that present themselves in the quiet moments.
I am so incredibly grateful for the precious 19 years of this exquisite girls life.

My hope for all of you reading this is to not wait to share your love. Hug your kids more, have patience and time for them. Live fully now and know that this life is so temporary.
One more story
A darling little girl told us when she was brought to the site of the crash that,
“ when the time was right Juliana pressed the button and was gone.”

What does this even mean?
My guess is that some how there was a knowing that this was her time and she set up her exit, her launching into another plane, her passing from our world was immediate and painless.

 Till we meet again dear darling. 
I promise to make the most of this life with your memory as my inspiration. 

Comments

  1. Vallen FamilyDecember 25, 2017 at 5:18 PM

    I love you. I'm sorry. I have been sending prayers, love, and thoughtful meditation out to you.
    I agree that the pain of loss is, hands down without a doubt, more physically AND emotionally difficult to go through. I have not had loss like yours but I know how much I love my children and when I lost my pregnancies it may have been a slice of what your loss is and for that my heart aches for you. There aren't any words to express it. All I can do is continue to send my love into the universe hoping that it gets to you.

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