sum ergo sum

I chose my own limiting beliefs; I chose the path that I’m walking on, I chose my hardships and roadblocks, I chose the things that would challenge my self the absolute most because I knew I could overcome them, I knew that all of this is a temporary magnificent experience and I would figure it out in the short time I had here. I chose things that would keep me obsessed and trapped, limited, hopeless. I put up my shields and challenged myself to a duel. What happens when I see through this façade? What happens when I put the shields down and realize my own power? What happens when I feel the reality of who/what I really am? Letting go of the sabotage. Letting go of the need to feel hurt. Letting go of the need to be right. Letting go of fury, rage, anger, and hatred.   Letting go of judgment and criticism of my self and others. Letting go of my resistance to love. What’s left? Essence breath lightheartedness joy laughter peace ...

For the past few weeks I’ve been trying an experiment. With each person that comes into my day, (stranger or friend) I have been allowing my heart/mind to imagine what it is like to be that person.   As I have a conversation with someone else I listen closely and really try to get where they are coming from. I try to understand what it is like on their side of the conversation. I try to understand how they might be feeling and what is truly driving them at that moment. This has been magical.   I have noticed a deeper connection with those around me. I have noticed that the harsh judging mechanism that likes to run me has quieted down. I have noticed a welling up of pure love and compassion for the people in my life. I have noticed complete appreciation for the person and the circumstance that has allowed for our connection. I have noticed a surge of energy in my daily dealings with people. I have most importantly noticed a softening around my marriag...

My ego and I   I awoke from a dream of chaos and turmoil, feeling confused and frustrated, furious, misunderstood, ignored, unimportant, insignificant. These feelings lingered for a bit muddying up my beautiful morning and then something happened as I sat with the feelings. (I literally sat on the couch with a note pad and cup of coffee and would take notes as the storm cloud of emotions passed through me.) The scary feelings began to pass and I began to feel free, this process wasn’t one of conjuring up meaning around the emotion only one of just being with the emotion. I imagined this emotion was like a friend I can sit quietly with. As the emotion passed I began to see a mental program that has been running my life. This program was put in place for my survival. It was a necessary program for all of us when we lived with wild animals trying to eat us. But I could see how this program needed some updating. My Ego, I imagine her as a young dominatrix dressed in black leathe...