sum ergo sum

Lessons form mom.  As the days and moments of my life blend together, I realize that my original thought patterns were inspired by a loving, gracious human I get to call mom.   She came into this planet with a strong desire to understand the nature of god and her role as a woman. Times were very different then and her contrast of aloof parents caused her to search for a greater meaning and understanding of life.   As a very young girl she was drawn to religion, she explored many different churches until she found one that worked well for her.   The parameters of religious views gave her a platform to stand on and a mindset of a loving god and a trust in the process of life.   She raised all of her children in a place of wonder and connection. We learned at an early age that life is so much more than we can see with our eyes.  Her profound connection to the divine was my inspiration to develop my own love and connection. ...

Time such a tricky concept. Lately it has had a strange effect on my brain and all time seems to mesh into one huge bubble of random events. Time is not linear it’s a swirling cyclone of floating particles lifting and falling as the days pass.  Today it has been 500 days since the Passing of my sweet daughter Juliana Sunn Ellsmore  She lived a total of 7,218 days.  It feels like yesterday and a million days ago.  How is it possible to fit an entire life into a tiny envelope of days, minutes, and seconds.  Life seems to transcend time. When I look back I see a whole lot of empty space, a vast blackness lit up by sparkly moments glistening into my memory. When I look forward I see the same vast nothingness lit up by sparkles of possibilities. Maybe time is actually space and its moments are stars. Now is all there is, Now, this exact moment.  How many stars will I create with this moment?