sum ergo sum

I died in 1964, Paris. She died when I was 5 (1978) She was talking to me in my dreams last night. She is my sweet angel. I feel her presence and continual caring, her joy and excitement for my life this time around. She watches and reminds me that above all to always choose LOVE. Let me explain; I woke this morning with a knowing of my death, I was under La tour Eiffell, not sure how old I was but knowing the year was 1964 Paris. I felt a presence, a gentle loving soul that was speaking sweetly to me. She was my love in that life and is my angel in this one. We shared a life together and she was left alone at my passing. She died 14 years later. I, (this time around) was born in 1973 so this means my angel and I were human at the same time. I was 5years old when she finally left the planet.  Last night in my dream I was told something, about my purpose. I was obsessed with women and I needed to experience what it is to be completely woman.  To ex...

Lessons from Mexico This trip was a spontaneous decision, which came about over lunch at our local Mexican restaurant. My son and I were having a post work out meal when we ran into some friends having their lunch. We chatted and showed pictures of some fun partner yoga postures. I of course boasting about how strong my 19 yr old boy is and then they asked if I would like to go to Mexico with them. Without hesitation I agreed and that was it.  Two days later I purchased my ticket and two weeks after that was on a plane to visit a country that at one point was my home. Traveling alone as I like it. On my journey I decided that this would be a great opportunity to dive deep into my meditative self and focus on simply being present. This is what I discovered. First of all this was the first trip I took with no real agenda, it was just a vacation simply for the sake of taking a vacation. I have traveled many places but each of those trips had a purpose, so...

For the Past few nights, ive been playing around with dreaming. When I fall asleep I set the intention to remember my dream and keep a journal close by to quickly write down details. When I am sleeping there are many moments when I realize im dreaming and then start to manipulate the dream to my liking. I had the idea that if I could dream of myself as a little girl then I could communicate with my child self and re -write the old stories I hold on to.  I could empower her, give her a glimps of the future to come. Her life could be lived in a way that would allow for beauty and magic. I wanted to talk to little sariah, to let her know that she is not alone in her suffering, I will be there when she dreams. My dreams have been foggy, I know I’ve been back several times to my childhood drama. I was able to see me, in a cradle, yellow footie pajamas, maybe 10 months old. Talking to the walls. I was talking to my older projected self. I picked up the baby h...

How can any of us ever really know who we are until we can go back and see the thoughts we had when we were little. If we could look into the mind of our infant self, the toddler the young child, then we can start to make sense of the filters we have been given. The filters that have formed our lives hide in these early years. This way of looking at life has a purpose it was created for us to survive the weird inexplicable events of our raising. The people involved the bizarre ideas that our little minds choose to hold on to are usually hard to access. They lay hidden in our subconscious darkness, obscured by a fog of misunderstanding. These thoughts that are usually written off as “childish nonsense” are the very foundation that the adult self is built upon. The self-loathing the sabotage the destructive person inside our minds is a child. I’ve been reading a book about dreaming by Robert Moss; one of my amazing girlfriends recommended it. She has been doing dream...

Letter to a friend - funny how we teach what we need to learn! in order to move into a created future you have to solve the past. we all have to come to terms with it. Even if there is a feeling of " oh what ever its the past" we all need to create a way of letting things go. Writing letters to the significant people in our past is a way of doing that. its a way of acknowledging who you were and the people involved then letting those things go and moving forward into a place you create from your deepest desire. i know it sounds hokey but when you start to notice the thoughts and filters that were placed there by others then you can change them. you can choose what to accept and believe.  this takes us into a new realm of belief. Belief is the strongest power we have. What you believe about yourself will create you. What you believe about the world will create your world. The mind is always looking for evidence of your beliefs. Heres the cool part you can choose ...