This scary hateful word crossed my mind recently
What came about because of this thought was liberating, soulful, connecting, mind altering for me.
Let me explain. I’ve been putting together a teachers training program, for my yoga school. Daily research into books and teachers and words of insight has been my morning ritual. I love learning, and challenging my self to continuously go deeper into the unknown of my personality, my limitations and beliefs.
It would only make sense that as I create a transformation program for others I too will have to feel the fires of transformation.
Reading through the Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara, I discovered that I don’t like women. In fact it has been a much stronger feeling than dislike more like hatred. Now I know that even admitting to this there are a lot of women in my life that would reject this statement because I do love them dearly. However, as I dig into the limiting mental programs that I have lived by, I can see there is a program called women are second-class; emotional, victims of uncertainty, only as good as their youth and beauty, they are petty and untrustworthy, unreliable and powerless.
As I searched into this hidden resentment towards women I realized that this belief has been keeping me from being powerful, lovable, trustworthy, because I am a woman. I have had a sob story for most of my life called “no-body-likes me”…. Geez… the truth was I don’t like me. Looking for a role model a powerful lovely woman who can be my muse my inspiration my teacher and friend. I see so many lovely ladies around me all curiously strong, intelligent, loving. My old programed belief was keeping me from noticing.
Pandora’s box has been opened, and what lay at the bottom of all the evil is hope. I feel this hope. I am awakened and know that by seeing this part of me I can now lovingly bring this judgmental fragment of myself back to the whole. I can reprogram this old hatful belief with anything I choose.
I choose Love
I choose friendship
I choose sisterhood
I choose adoration
I choose community
I choose acceptance
I choose power
I choose inspiration
I choose Magic.
Thank you Heatherash Amara