sum ergo sum

What you seek is seeking you~Rumi There is a great invisible force that is working every moment to pull us into alignment with the things we desire. Since the death of my 19 year old daughter,  I have had the desire to make a difference in the world. I want to help people. I want to inspire others to live amazing lives. I have only wanted to share love and hope and comfort. I know we are all dealing with our monsters and some times the best thing we can do is to recognize the struggle, have compassion then step boldly into the unknown.  Yesterday I had an amazing random, (not so random) chance meeting with a lovely lady. I know with out a doubt this was a spirit appointment and she and I showed up exactly at the right place at the right time to make a difference in each others lives. I had been on a walk and noticed a new little restaurant in the location of a building I loved many years ago. Back in the day the building was old wood, completely run down, no windows.

Another sweet message from my daughter. I'm staying at my friend Sue’s house in Palm City Florida. The morning is clear and windy. The house is quiet I am alone. I have been feeling a bit uneasy. I am happy to be in Florida, I am excited to continue working on my flight instructor certificate but for the moment I have had a hiccup with finances and do not have the money to pay for any training.  In the meantime was thinking about getting involved with a grief group or possibly teaching a yoga workshop to help alleviate the pain of loss. Maybe even work part time with hospice. I'm sure I can create someway to fill my time and give back to the community.  I have been going through my journals wanting to find entries to add to my next book  “Year two,”( I actually filled 8 journals since Juliana died.) I found an entry about feeling confused and frustrated and not knowing where I was going. This seems to be a theme these days. I realize it was written last year but I

New Orleans In May I happened to see a post from the New Orleans Burlesque Fest inviting performers to submit audition videos to participate in the upcoming event in September. I of course sent in the video of the aerial cube act from our Pagosa Burlesque show that happened in March. Not really expecting anything I was surprised when I received the official invitation. My partner informed me she would be out of the country and I would need to replace her. Malaya, my lovely daughter was my first choice, she is already a strong aerial performer and she and I have similar body builds. Not to mention performing with my daughter is a dream come true.    The cube is unforgiving, painful and frustrating to master. Many days we would show up, bang and bruise, smack each other, whack our heads and get completely dizzy. The steel bars are brutal and our bodies showed the battle wounds. She and I worked for three months on the routine and sure enough after our many days of frustrati