sum ergo sum

Fast forward How do I want it to be? This little question has changed my life. I’ll explain. I have been plagued with an over active imagination, I have spent 90% of my life in my own mind thinking, wondering, pondering contemplating, conjuring, complaining, worrying, stressing, fighting. Only recently have I even realized that most of what I think isn’t real. Its just my mind running around in circles making me crazy. It feels as if my mind has a need to stay busy, active, moving so that I feel productive and important. Gaining control of this run away freight train has been quite a challenge. My thoughts have now decided the best time of attack is the middle of the night, usually around 3am. I wake with tremendous anxiety about everything. There have been nights I’m completely drenched in sweat any my jaw hurts and other nights where I feel such a debilitating fear I cannot move or breathe. Why am I telling you about this part of my life? Some how I know that we a

Yesterday my husband and I had an argument, we usually get a little mouthy after a couple margaritas. He was frustrated with me for not knowing what is going on in the world. My lack of interest in politics and current affairs as well as the brutal ways people are hurting each other, makes him crazy. I agreed with him and admitted to doing this on purpose. Focusing on the hurtful things people are doing out there in the world doesn’t feel good to me. I intentionally do not watch news or read articles of this type, I scroll through the heated opinions quickly on social media not engaging on purpose. I hone in on the many occurrences of love and kindness that are occurring all the time. This is how I stay uplifted my self, then do what I can to share it with others. Here’s what I understand. ·         We cannot feel bad enough about anything to make it change. ·       Focusing in on negativity will bring more of it. ·       The only real difference we can make in the wo