Fast forward, How do you want it to be?


Fast forward
How do I want it to be?
This little question has changed my life.
I’ll explain.
I have been plagued with an over active imagination, I have spent 90% of my life in my own mind thinking, wondering, pondering contemplating, conjuring, complaining, worrying, stressing, fighting. Only recently have I even realized that most of what I think isn’t real. Its just my mind running around in circles making me crazy. It feels as if my mind has a need to stay busy, active, moving so that I feel productive and important. Gaining control of this run away freight train has been quite a challenge.
My thoughts have now decided the best time of attack is the middle of the night, usually around 3am. I wake with tremendous anxiety about everything. There have been nights I’m completely drenched in sweat any my jaw hurts and other nights where I feel such a debilitating fear I cannot move or breathe.

Why am I telling you about this part of my life?
Some how I know that we are all alike and the things that challenge me challenge others and by being open and sharing what works we can all help each other enjoy our lives more completely.

What made the difference?
During one of my many episodes I asked for divine assistance, I suddenly found my self having a full blown conversation with my mind about my thoughts.
The question was “ How do I want this to be” referring to the worrisome pictures that were flashing through my thoughts and keeping me awake.
I some how realized that if I was going to spend my time imagining then I could use that imagination to my advantage. I started picturing the most amazing outcome. Instead of death and destruction I flipped the thoughts completely to “what I want it to be” then I got vibrant and creative and added emotion. I allowed my heart to get involved and felt what it would feel like to have this beautiful outcome rather than the dark and dreary pictures in my mind.
Believe it or not but my body found a way to relax my mind found something to entertain it and I would instantly fall into a wonderful sleep.
 I have been practicing this for quite some time now and am happy to report it gets easier the more I practice. Now if I find my mind running away with me I stop and say out loud “ Fast Forward, How do I want it to be?”
 And then I take a deep breath and use my imagination to create deliberately.
How do you want “it” to be?

    

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