Spirit Communication

Another sweet message from my daughter.

I'm staying at my friend Sue’s house in Palm City Florida. The morning is clear and windy. The house is quiet I am alone. I have been feeling a bit uneasy. I am happy to be in Florida, I am excited to continue working on my flight instructor certificate but for the moment I have had a hiccup with finances and do not have the money to pay for any training.

 In the meantime was thinking about getting involved with a grief group or possibly teaching a yoga workshop to help alleviate the pain of loss. Maybe even work part time with hospice. I'm sure I can create someway to fill my time and give back to the community. 

I have been going through my journals wanting to find entries to add to my next book 

“Year two,”( I actually filled 8 journals since Juliana died.) I found an entry about feeling confused and frustrated and not knowing where I was going. This seems to be a theme these days. I realize it was written last year but I didn’t re-read these words till now. This exact moment is when I needed these words. Time is funny like that. 

Messages from our loved ones seem to come when we need them most.

Journal entry 9/13/18

I just had a breakdown, I was trying to clear space in my phone by deleting old text messages. I found a text from Juliana, Oh my God, my sweet daughter. She left the most beautiful messages always sharing love. I decided to write to her.

Dear daughter, my beautiful baby, I still feel so much pain around your death. I miss you terribly. I know your in a good place and I'm happy you don’t have to deal with this confusing world anymore. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much. I honestly want to leave it but couldn’t bare inflicting any more pain on our family. 

Can you talk to me?

Yes mama, I love you. I love  you so much.

Are you happy ?

Yes

Do you have any advise or messages?

Mama, its going to all be OK. We will see each other soon enough. I am here waiting and watching and loving you in every minute.

All I can think of is i’m glad you don’t have to be here anymore, you don’t have to endure this messed up life any more.

Its not real, all of it is made up. Its for your entertainment, its a game. Your playing just fine. Just keep playing, play it well, make it great. Its not very long, and soon enough it will be over. 

I text you the day you died at 1:36 PM

I was already gone, I knew you were thinking of me, I had to go. It was always going to be on that day. It was my exit I had to go. I'm sorry.

Don’t be sorry, I wish I could have been a better mom.

You were amazing all of the time and I know you did your best and I know you loved me and still do.

I do baby with all of my heart. Do you talk to your siblings?

Yes all the time, we all planned it this way. You need to write this story. You need to share it. Other people need to know that when we go were not really gone. We are here, you just can’t see us with your human eyes. We will always be connected. We have been in many lifetimes, some times you went first and I had to feel it, now its your turn to feel. Its all part of the game of feeling, of life.

I don’t want to feel.

Enjoy it its temporary, I love you.