For the Past few nights, ive been playing around with dreaming. When I fall asleep I set the intention to remember my dream and keep a journal close by to quickly write down details. When I am sleeping there are many moments when I realize im dreaming and then start to manipulate the dream to my liking.
I had the idea that if I could dream of myself as a little girl then I could communicate with my child self and re -write the old stories I hold on to. I could empower her, give her a glimps of the future to come. Her life could be lived in a way that would allow for beauty and magic. I wanted to talk to little sariah, to let her know that she is not alone in her suffering, I will be there when she dreams.
My dreams have been foggy, I know I’ve been back several times to my childhood drama. I was able to see me, in a cradle, yellow footie pajamas, maybe 10 months old. Talking to the walls. I was talking to my older projected self. I picked up the baby hugged her and that was it. The next version I saw was a little girl playing in the mud in a party dress, I told her that her parents were going to get very mad at her but that only means they are very mad at themselves for not paying closer attention. Its not her fault and its ok to play in the mud. The next version I saw was my 14 year old self. I brought her food to share with her family and I introduced her to my French bulldog Marie Antoinette.
As far as re writing my story I don’t think that is the case, in fact I’m not sure if my visiting my self helped at all but I can tell you when I met my French bulldog this time around I fell madly in love with her, I knew my sweet doggie from some inexplicable place.
She brings me so much joy and comfort, she is my special angel .