Pain

 Pain what is it? A physical suffering or distress, a sensation in a particular part of the body

 

Pain and suffering only exist on this planet in these bodies we came here to know pain. 

 

Pain is a sensation but suffering is a choice. Suffering happens when we reject the pain. But what happens if you dive into the pain fully, embrace the sensations. Ride out the feelings with complete and total acceptance?

There is something very powerful about feeling pain. It will show you your dark corners of fear. It will give you back stage access into the unconscious world that runs your waking world. Going through pain is a holy and sublime process. 

After experiencing tremendous pain there is a shift in your being. You will experience a feeling of confidence as well as a softening of compassion for those going through it. We all experience pain at some point in our lives. Understanding that there is a reason for it will help you to move gracefully through it. Do not squash the pain with pain killers but instead embrace the sensations and see what they are offering. 

I'll tell you a little story of my pain and how I moved through it.

 I have been working in a factory for a couple months now. I wanted a winter job and signed on with a fast paced company doing actual physical labor. I am a strong woman and the challenging environment was exciting to me. I wanted to see if I was capable of learning new things and working with power tools. It was exhausting, every day I would come home after work and just want to sleep. The ten hour shifts were grueling.   My mornings would start at 4 am, work started at 6am. I would show up around 5:45 our days ended at 4:30. In the course of two months I learned how to build face frames for cabinets, build interior walls for the living quarters of the trailers. I learned how to build and wire speaker boxes, as well as wire lights and switches.

We have been working on snowmobile trailers for the past month and have been able to fully finish one an hour. 

 Then one day out of the blue I couldn’t do it. I showed up to work with an excruciating pain in my back, my fingers were numb, my head pounding. Being the emotional creature I am tears were streaming. I finally had to call it. I spoke to the supervisor and explained my predicament. I left to go get some well-needed rest. 

 I arrived at my mothers and collapsed on the bed, I slept for a couple hours and woke to the most intense physical pain I have ever experienced. Mind you I have had four babies completely natural and this pain felt more intense than labor.

My Back was screaming my body writhing, head pounding, My jaw felt like I had been in a boxing match. To top it off I was freezing, so cold even with the pile of blankets I still shivered uncontrollably.

I had to pee but couldn’t get out of bed. 

 

A little side note: I do not get sick the last time I was bed ridden was in 2005 that was 17 years ago. I also do not take pain medication a part of me believes very strongly that pain meds just mask the sensations and even prolong them.

 

I felt like I was dyeing, I felt deep fear and started talking to my daughter who has already passed over. I told her I would see her soon. This pain was killing my body. She answered she said “oh mama, this too shall pass.”

She was with me.  

 

My brother who happened to be staying at my mothers was my nurse he brought me hot water bottles for my bed he made me noodle soup and did his best to make sure I had what I needed. He worked in ER for a while and was really great at caring for sick people. He was a godsend. He encouraged me to just work with the pain and let my fever burn out the illness. 

I took the challenge and experienced the excruciating pain, I told my self that my body was going through pain and the pain was simply sensation it was not me just something I was feeling. This became my mantra for the next 14 hours. I used my labor breathing technique and moaned on every exhale the moan was the sound of OM a vibrational chant used in deep meditation. I tried to sleep but my body wasn’t cooperating. Instead I panted and writhed letting the pain wash over me. I began to challenge the pain I asked it what it was trying to show me. What do I need to learn from this experience. What I gathered is this was a moment of my own rebirth a moment of laboring my whole self into this planet a way I could connect with Source and my physical self and work my way into new and profound awareness. Pain, this pain, was a gift showing me what I was capable of doing. 

 

 

I fell asleep and had a dream of a beautiful woman in a snow covered ice cave she was dressed in a slinky gorgeous turquoise gown draped in diamonds. She was emerging from a pool of freezing water she was me. My true goddess self. The powerful part of me that is always watching my life.  She was smiling.

I woke and started moving I moved through Chi Gong using my breath and directing it into my back. I stretched and breathed and felt the pain lessen. After I fell back to sleep and slept like a baby I woke with a perfectly healthy body and a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. If I can do this then what else am I capable of doing?

 

What I understand from this experience is that I manifested it. There was a point during my grueling work where I said to my self I just want to rest. I knew I was wearing my self down but I didn’t stop. So now I get to rest, relax, recover and by the way I did take a test for Covid and it came back positive. 

By owning this experience I get to feel powerful in it.

I get to stand in a place of responsibility and know that I create my world of experience. What I choose to do with it is 100% up to me.