Whats the point?

What’s really the point?

This is a question I have been asking my self since I can remember. I have to believe it’s a mental program from childhood.
However, lets dive in for a moment. When I experience this thought my body feels week and tired, my emotions are sadness and loneliness, my mind is cloudy and disinterested. I ask my self what is there to live for then I answer, my children of course. I end up feeling trapped in this body, wanting to give up but knowing I can not.
I tell myself I’m here to learn. Learn what? How to be human? I am here to have an experience. Experience what? Human emotion; sensation, being distracted, being alone, being separate, being shaded, and cynical. If we are all apart of source and we all return to source then this moment in our fleshy prison must have some kind of purpose. Maybe the question alone is in fact the purpose.

I have a meditation practice, and sitting alone with my breath is delightful, it’s a vacation from my brain, from all the questions. It is also a deep connection to the entire universe and is part of my desire to just be one with everything.
I breathe and feel my tether to the whole of existence, gratitude, humility, Love. And still something is missing. What?
 If your reading this I would love your input. Tell me what is the point?

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